The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles

(these are *real*)
Compiled By: Bill Atchley
  • Do You Love As Good As You Look?
  • Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
  • Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
  • Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
  • Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
  • Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  • Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares
  • How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  • How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
  • I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
  • I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
  • I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
  • I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
  • I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
  • I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
  • I Wanna Whip Your Cow
  • I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
  • I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
  • I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
  • I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
  • I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
  • I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
  • I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
  • If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
  • If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
  • If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
  • If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
  • If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
  • If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
  • Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
  • May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
  • My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
  • My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
  • My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
  • My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
  • Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down,
  • But Baby I Can See Through You
  • Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
  • She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
  • She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
  • She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
  • She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
  • Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
  • They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
  • Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
  • When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
  • You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
  • You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
  • You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
  • You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life
  • You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

    Anonymous


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